The end of the road

Yesterday night, another one of the journeys of my life came to a dead end. For reasons of which I am still in denial my relationship came to an end yesterday.

It hurts that you give someone your everything and it does not work out.

I so want to play the blame game right now and put it all on him but I need to understand that it takes two people for anything to work or fail.

To be honest I don’t even know why I am putting this out here and not in my personal diary. But whatever be the reason, I know one thing. After nearly 3 years of blogging, I am in some ways more comfortable with my readers here than maybe even my personal diary.

To all of you who came here expecting to read a post, I am sorry you had to face a rant.

Take care everyone. And though this won’t make much sense coming from someone most probably in depression, but don’t think too far ahead in life, the more elaborate plans you make, the more it hurts when they break.

Advertisements

Complicated

Note : This story is a work of fiction and any resemblance in name, place etc to any person is purely coincidental.

 

 

 

Amrita was just another girl who had just turned twenty. She was very lucky woman for her age because she was in a no time-pass no nonsense long term relationship. There was no question as to the fact that she was very much in love with the man who loved her equally. Also their relationship was much mature owing to the fact that it was not a week or month old but had been there for a long time now.

Even in those moments when she was angry or upset at him, there was never even a thought that she might not love him or vice versa. Obviously not everything was picture perfect, but she understood that so was the case in every relationship of every kind.  The differences of opinion she had with him did not dampen their love.

Still, there was one ‘little complication’ in her heart. Though she loved dearly her boyfriend and was completely loyal to him, her heart was divided in two as she also loved dearly another man. When she had first met him, it had seemed to Amrita that this other man was no more than a fleeting crush. A feeling that would go away soon. It didn’t.

With the passage of time, her love for both men grew. While many thought it was impossible to love two people in the same manner at the same time, she disagreed. If it was perfectly normal to be in love with two men at different times, why was it any different if both were present at one time. Love is an emotion and it is not something that happens systematically as to only fall in love once you no longer love another person. In actuality, there can never be falling out of love, so she loved them both.

 

 

Now, while loving the other man, she knew very clearly that relationships were the last thing he was looking for. His calling in life was different and falling in love was something he actively avoided. Also she was sure that he was the kind of person to leave decisions such as that of a life partner on his parents or other people he trusted in that regard.

However, Amrita was fearful. She feared that if someday, her ‘second love’ did indeed fall in love, how would she react? How would she react if he fell in love with another woman? But more importantly, how would she react if he fell in love with her? He knew very well she was in a relationship, but what if in some manner she were to come to know of his love for her. What would she do then?

The choice between the two men she loved would maybe drive her crazy. And though she loved the second man with all her heart, just like she loved the first one, she knew not what to hope for in the future. Should she hope for the man to love another and move away or should she hope for him to fall in love with her and stay?

Amrita had no answers to her mindset and knew that it was, to put it simply, “complicated”.

The Many Faces of Love… ~2~

Once upon a time, there was a boy. He brought a smile to the face of everyone who met him. He never had to talk, just the happiness that shone in his eyes was enough. He had a dream one night, and he loved it. He loved it so much, he decided to never let go of it, and chase it down even if it took him all day. As the days passed, it didn’t seem any closer, but he still battled on. He had many dreams after that one. Some came true, some didn’t but he never felt so much restlessness for the other dreams, as he felt for that one.

One day, his parents told him, “If you love someone, let them go. If they were meant for you, they will return, otherwise, they were never yours in the first place.”

He thought on it. Maybe it was a person they were talking of. Not his dream. But his parents had told him it was meant for life in general. And his parents were wise. Shouldn’t he listen to them? Yes, he decided. And let go of the dream. Let it slip through his fingers, even though his heart told, “Hold on. Don’t let go. Your hands are just about to grip it.” He decided, it wasn’t worth dreaming. He took a dream his parents always talked of, and chased that. But his heart wasn’t with him a 100 percent. A few years into his journey, his old dream resurfaced. And he was so happy, he held on to it without a second thought.

So much love involved, isn’t it? The boy loved his dream, and chased it. The boy loved his parents, and loved them so much, he chose their dream ahead of his own, and then when the old dream he loved returned, he loved that even more too. So often, we think that a dream is but a dream. We see it one night, and it loses meaning once we awaken. But it isn’t so. It lasts a long time, and we dream it because our heart loves it and decides to show it as a right path to us.

But what’s the path for the boy now? Should he chase his dream, or the one his parents had seen for him? What if his parents continue to see their dream, and not his? Is it love that makes them push their dreams into his, even when he puts his dream to the front, now that he knows its return means it was his from the moment he saw it?